HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your
along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note--
must do more sit-ups.
4. Use toilet.
5. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
wide loofah and pumice stone.
6. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added
7. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
8. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
9. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes
10. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body
11. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all
12. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide
it waxed instead.
13. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you get
14. Turn off shower.
15. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
16. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
hair in super absorbent second towel.
17. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
18. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
19. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas
then sashay to bedroom.
20. Spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way,
wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut.
the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it
9. Realize that you didn't use the toilet before entering the shower,
pee into the drain.
10. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
11. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding
12. Wash your butt.
13. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
14. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
15. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror
16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the
because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
17. Partially dry off.
18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size
19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass
wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo"
22. Throw wet towel on the bed.
23. Take 2 minutes to get dressed in the same clothes that you had on
before the shower.
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