A teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: have their parents
tell them a story with a moral. The next day the kids came to class, and
one by one, told their stories.
Kathy raised her hand first and said, "We live on a farm and we have
hens that lay eggs for market. Once we were taking a basket of eggs to
market on the front seat of the pick-up and we hit a big bump in the
road. The eggs went flying and broke all over everything."
"And what is the moral to that story?"
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket."
"Very good!" said the teacher.
Then little Lucy raised her hand and said, "We live on a farm, too. But
we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs once but when
they hatched, we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to that story
is, don't count your chickens before they are hatched."
"That was a fine example, Lucy. Johnny, I believe you had your hand up
"Yes Ma'am. My Daddy told me my Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in
Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory, and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a
machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, and
then she landed right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She
killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of
bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete before the blade
broke off. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens!" said the horrified teacher. "What did your Daddy tell
you was the moral to that terrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."
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