The 2000 election inspired much parody...
Little known fact: Al Gore, a Washington Redskins fan, once applied
(unsuccessfully) for a job as an NFL replay official. The following
is an approximate re-creation.
Interviewer: So on this tape we gave you to review, you found
some plays that you feel should have been called differently.
Al Gore: Yes I did, in fact, this play we're watching on the
monitor right now should have been ruled as a Redskins touchdown. Clearly,
the pass was thrown perfectly and the receiver was wide open.
Interviewer: But, he dropped the ball.
Al Gore: Nevertheless, we have to consider the intent of the players
involved. See the way he's stretching out for the ball. He obviously
intended to catch that ball, and it would be WRONG to negate his
efforts due to a mere technicality.
Interviewer: Hmmm (writing). Anything else?
Al Gore: In examining the tape, I have uncovered numerous examples where
Redskins running backs were attempting to advance the ball
forward, but were ruled out-of-bounds. It seems to me that the sidelines
were marked in a confusing and UNFAIR manner so as to prevent our running
backs from gaining the yardage that they earned. Here's an example on the
Interviewer: His foot is on the line.
Al Gore: On the line, over the line, it's all so confusing to the players.
Look, I'm just trying to be fair. The Redskins were obviously the better
team. They gained more yards and got more first downs. By
all rights, they won this game.
Interviewer: The other team scored more points.
Al Gore: (sigh) The convoluted method by which scores are determined in
the NFL is so antiquated; the players deserve better. We need to look at
the performance of each player on each play over the course of the entire
game. Sometimes, we may need to look at it several times before we are in
a position to judge who is the better team.
Interviewer: (head in hands) Anything else?
Al Gore: Yes, the end of the game exposes another unfair practice. The
Redskins were moving the ball very well when suddenly, they were denied
the chance to make the game-winning touchdown.
Interviewer: The clock ran out.
Al Gore: Why should we place an arbitrary limit on the amount of time when
the outcome is so in doubt? In games that are this close, the players
should decide the outcome, not the clock.
Interviewer: How much longer would you have them play?
Al Gore: Until the right team wins.
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